When We Minimise What We’ve Been Through (And Why Your Pain Still Counts)

There are so many ways we learn to say “it’s fine” when it isn’t.

We brush things off. We make jokes. We tell ourselves others have it worse. We keep going, stay busy, stay productive, stay together. From the outside, it can look like resilience. From the inside, it often feels like holding your breath. Or the age old metaphor of a swan, looking composed but frantically paddling beneath the surface.

If you recognise yourself here, I want to say this first: there is nothing wrong with you for minimising your pain.